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Dear Dried Mango,
We need to have a talk.
I love you, but I’m not IN love with you.
Okay, that’s a lie. I AM in love with you. I love you so much, I’ll drive 25 minutes to Whole Foods to find you while pretending I’m running out for Coconut Aminos. I love you even though you make me foggy, farty, and flabbergasted at my own lack of common sense.
In this (rare) moment of clarity, I’ve made a decision: I’m dumping you. I’m dumping, flushing, and draining your sweet fruity goodness from my life. Why? Because the 21-Day Sugar Detox has arrived.
Farewell. Au revoir. Suck it, Trebek.
All right, folks. Here’s a quick News Flash: Even Paleo Bloggers get caught up in bad food relationships. Stuff that’s generally harmless – stuff that flies just fine in a balanced state of mind – can turn downright toxic when you’re already drowning in a septic tank of excuses: I’m stressed, I can’t think of anything funny to write, I just spent three weeks on an airplane, TSA just saw my grunderwear, I can’t find my WHITE COLLARLESS SHIRT FROM FRED SEGAL! (Seagull? #Clueless)
I’m talking about Dried Mango. And in the last week, I’ve used it as a stress-eating surrogate for SUGAR. Not cool.
Sugar was always the beast for me. I had no problem ditching bread, pasta, and other finger-sparing agents of mess-mitigating good-food transport (translation: I will eat this bunless burger with my BARE HANDS and LICK THE GREASE OFF MY FINGERS IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY).
Sugar, however, is a different beast. I know when I’ve slid down the Sugar Slope. (Incidentally, it’s native name is Mango Mountain.) When I start eating – nay, craving, seeking, and developing a dependency on – massive quantities of dried fruit at the expense of other water-dense, nutrient-filled, non-sweet sources of nutrition, I KNOW I’m not in a good state of mind.
You may be thinking, it’s just DRIED FRUIT, for Chrissake. Get over it! But ya know what? I ate about seventeen mangoes in the last five days. That’s a crap-ton of sugar. It’s a problem. It doesn’t have to be YOUR problem. But it’s MY blog. So I get to talk about it.
Careening down the carbohydrate cliff, I judged myself harshly. I’m living my professional dreams – working as a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner and Balanced Bites Partner and podcasting and workshopping and representing my favorite Non-Profit and PERHAPS even writing a little non-interwebz manuscript of my own (TEASER! But that’s all ya get) – so where the hell do I get off telling folks how to be healthy when I’d rather be hiding in a closet chowing strips of yellow concentrated sweet Mangoobery goodness?
Stress over obligations and managing expectations, lack of control, bad decision making, sugarisaddictive. Whatever. I can’t explain it, and I don’t think I have to. I don’t profess to be perfect – so I can only identify these triggers, take care of them, and move on…(before Mango Madness descends into Plantain Perversion and things really get cray.)
In the past, I’ve scoffed at the idea of nutrition “challenges” and “detoxes.” Hell, my business partner hosts the 21-Day Sugar Detox and I’ve never been the slightest bit interested. Not for me, I thought. I don’t need it. I don’t want to espouse a short-term mentality or advocate a “Quick fix” for what is often a lifestyle problem. That stuff doesn’t work. Right?
But so many people have said great things about the 21DSD, so I’m gonna try it. Not as a vehicle for restrictive eating, obsessive behavior or food neuroses (I encourage you, if applicable, to make the same commitment), but as an opportunity to remember the foundations of good food, to regain respect for the value of variety, and to connect with more folks in this community.
And, welp, I just FEEL LIKE DOING IT (twss). I desire the fresh perspective and the community. I WANNA. So I’m a’ – gonna.
What are YOUR motivations for a little sugar detox?