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Warning: this post is not safe for anyone who hasn’t graduated from 5th grade sex ed.
No, we’re not buying a pontoon boat.
We went bigger and better! (And less floaty.) We bought a little homestead! 15 acres with a spectacular front-yard view, a barn, and a front porch. (“Porch sitting” is the official sport here.)
Why did we do this? Simple: blog fodder.
I’m KIDDING. Actually, it’s hard to put everything into words. We just felt it. We wanted the space, the work, and the reward. I’ve had a slight sense of loneliness in my many years of city and semi-city life, yet I continued to try to…fit myself into things. I never did fit into that space, although I wasn’t always conscious of that fact. Anyway, we wanted to do this. We knew. So an opportunity arose, and we made it happen.
You know how people tell you “you’ll never be ready” to have
kids a pontoon boat, so you should just go for it? Well, we’re not ready. Not even a little bit. But here we go.
So, we’re jumping right in here. Epic is the word. Here’s what we’ve done so far:
We went “goat shopping.”
We (well, he) played with new toys.
We introduced the Paleo Pooch to the neighbors. He was very interested.
When he realized he couldn’t eat them (or the barn cat, for that matter), he was over it.
No seriously, guys. He was over it.
Mom offered me chicks from a classroom at her school, but since we don’t know whether they’re boys or girls, we decided to wait to take them home (we want preteen chickens, we decided).
And then I got the best text message ever of my entire life ever.
Sendee’s name has been changed to protect…the inadvertently perverse.
(But thanks for thinking of me and the Worm Farm.)
Just so you know…our homestead is not a sperm farm.